But I just have to say, seeing all these accidents lately is starting to weird me out. Its been going on for nearly three months now, seems every major accident on 695 happens right before we get there or as we get there. We being me and Tano. Saturday night alone we came to an accident on the bridge where 702 begins and 695 branches off, a sports car was in two big pieces and a million small ones. A few cars around it had crashed into each other and walls, police weren't there yet. Two more accidents from there to his house, 2 miles away at the most. On the way back two police cars came flying down 702 on the other side of the median as I was, a few seconds later they came flying up behind me, heading to the major accident on my side of the highway. At my exit there was another one.
Tonight as I'm driving home suddenly a white sedan a little ways ahead of me swerves out of control for no reason, a mini van I guess moves to get out of the way and over corrects goes up on two wheels and flips four times, two other cars crash into each other and glass flies everywhere. THANK GOD everyone was okay. I mean, scrapes and bumps but no broken bones or deaths which is incredible.
A few years ago a drunk driver hit a coupe right in front of me. I was with my best friend in the car who was an MP (militiary police) in the national gaurd. We stopped, this was just a year after my best friend Kevin died in a car accident at the age of 21. We ran to the first car and the guys were WASTED, Flea stayed with them and I ran to the coupe. A YOUNG girl, maybe 17 was in it. It was crushed and I could see her chest was crushed, she grabbed my hand, scared to fucking death. I told her help was on its way, I told her everything would be okay, not to worry. All she said over and over was "please don't leave me,". That girl died holding my hand that night. The two drunk men, including the drunk driver, didn't even have a scrape on them.
A couple months later, I found out that girls cousin was friends with my best friend Jeremy and had heard I was there with her cousin. I still have the letter she sent me printed out and saved. She just thanked me for being there with her, for knowing her cousin wasn't alone when she died meant the world to her. I can't even write about that letter, it'll make me sob.
Car accidents fuck me up. Not even a week after that girl died, Felicia (Flea) and I left a party at our friends house which is WAY in the boondocks and has tons of windy roads with sharp S turns around a reservoir, Loch Raven reservoir leaving Phoenix / Jacksonville. We passed a car that had driven off the road and into the woods, I refused to get out of the car this time, Flea went and came back and said she hadn't seen the driver but someone who lived right there said he was okay, he was back in the woods getting stuff out of his car. I got home about 20 minutes later, Flea had been gone for five minutes when she called me and all she said was, "it was jamie!" I said, what?! She said the car had belonged to our friend Jamie, he was the one who had driven off the road. I told Flea to pick me up she said she was already on her way, (I wasn't driving at this time, didn't have a license yet though I was old enough). We drove up faster than we should have and just ran to Jamie when we saw him. He grabbed each of us and just sobbed. He was so scared. Yeah, he was drunk. When we first stopped he had been in the woods ditching his bottle of vodka before the police got there.
Another night six or eight of us were at that same house in Jacksonville, this a year or so later. My ex boyfriend was in town from Texas and my best friend at the time Jeremy (a firefighter) was pretending to be my boyfriend to make my ex jealous haha. Stupid kid stuff. Anyway, we all decided to go back to a playground near my house to drink, though no one drunk was driving this time. I was in the car with Jeremy. As we came down the main road leading back into civilization, it was closed at one road and a detour led us around it. Jeremy knew from being a fire fighter, as many of our friends were and EMS's, when a road was shut down like this randomly with police at either end, it was an accident and someone was dead. Jeremy said he wanted to see a few times, just part of being a fire fighter. We found three days later it was our friend Brielle. Dead. She got into a lot of accidents and one night I found out it had been her and she was dead. I called Jeremy to come get me right away, he rushed over but didn't think too much of it cos I always needed him. (Everyone said we'd end up getting married haha but we really were just best friends, we had feelings at other times but never at the same time). In the car I told him I had to tell him something, I knew I should have waited til we got to the pool hall but I didn't. I said, "Brielle got into an accident," and Jeremy started laughing. "Another one?" he said. (She had been in ALOT but was always okay.) "Jeremy she didn't make it," I said and he stared at me while still driving the car. I will NEVER forget the look on his face. "Jeremy watch the road!" I shrieked and he corrected just in time.
A few weeks ago, Tano and I were heading back to his house. Traffic was in a dead stop. I kept complaining that the car in front of us had their hazards on and it was making my headache worse. When we got close enough to see the accident, a man was lieing in the road dead. A sheet over him but I could see his hand was up by his head and one of his shoes had flown off. There was a massive hole in his windshield where he had been thrown through. The ambulances are supposed to block this from site, but I saw it. I instantly dropped my head and prayed for this man and for forgiveness that while he was potentially dying I was complaining about hazard lights!
That was on a Sunday, that Saturday another accident happened just seconds before we got there. A red coupe was upside down and I will NEVER forget the lifeless body that was hanging from the passenger seat, the door was ripped off and there was a pool of blood underneath of this girls body, just hanging.... it was HORRIBLE.
I've just seen so many of them, and lost so many friends to them, as many people have. I'm not special, just sharing my experiences. And these are only some of them, but if I told you more, you wouldn't even believe me. I saw pictures of Brielles accident, I NEVER should have seen. But Jeremy being a fire fighter, had access to websites where these pictures were posted. The public was NOT supposed to see them. But he knew how fucked up on this shit I was and he asked if I wanted to see the pictures. I said I did and he sent me the link and the password. I saw how her car had burned, how she had been stuck inside of it...
My very very very good friend also died, not from a car accident. She had been on heroin her whole life almost, a hitch hiker, train hopper traveler, squatter, a life I lived for a while (believe it or not). She was in abusive relationships forever, never had a stable home her mother always kicked her out, was an alcoholic and a heroin addict foever with Hep C and it was rumored something else but I never believed it. She FINALLY got her life together. Was clean, living on a horse farm working for someone with the horses. One night she took half a suboxone and drank two beers and she never woke up. After years of being a dope fiend it was the fucking suboxone that killed her! This shit makes me so mad. I cannot tell you how beautiful a woman this girl was. She and I had a special bond that was never explained or justified, there was no real bonding moment, no long talk or time we spent together. We just always got each other. We never questioned it. This girl was as real as they fucking come. She died from two fucking beers and a sub. Her body just finally gave up. She just didn't wake up. I know this isn't a car accident but it will make sense in a minute.
A year ago, though it doesn't seem like it, my best friends daugther was killed.*** A state trooper came flying so fast over a hill that it was said by the sheriff department he was outrunning his siren! The trooper slammed into Rachel was was making a left hand turn and her car instantly burst into flames, she was stuck inside. The tapes of police and EMS on scene reporting show one of the EMS ladies saying the car was fire and the dispatch asked if everyone was out, she says, "I can't get 120 out!" and her voice breaks. Rachel is now used in training videos for state troopers. Her case is. Its still so fucked up. She had JUST graduated highschool that month or the month before and wanted to be a police officer so she could be a CSI.
*** She may have legally went by the name Cambell, but her mothers name is Sharon, my best friend, and Rachael loved her mother very much and went by the name Sheeley. In some videos and sites you will see this woman her married her father talking about "losing a kid" she doesn't say daugther because Rachael was NOT her daughter. This woman said to Sharon, Rachaels mother THE DAY SHE DIED "isn't weird she wanted to be a cop and a cop killed her and weird she wanted to be a csi and it took csi to identify her?" VER BATUM! She said that to Rachaels mother! And it doesn't matter who she said it to how fucked up is that?!
I just want to make it clear because Sharon has sufferent INCREDIBLY and so often no one even recognized her as Rachaels mother. I can tell you they talked online daily, even when Rachael wasn't supposed to be on haha, Sharon tried to tell her to listen to her father but she wanted to talk to her daugther! She sent her packages at least twice a month, talked on the phone every other day. This girl was her life. Just a few days before it happened she showed me her graduation pictuer and they looked SO much alike. So beautiful.
I lost a fiance, he was murdered right in front of me, so I understand some of her pain, but a fiance is not a child. I said that to Kevin Hannigans mother when we attended his funeral. That was the same summer Rei, James and James died. His mother and little brother were standing outside the church and his little brother Brad and my little brother also named Kevin had been close. I said, "brad?" He said yes. "I'm Kevin Martins older sister," And he sort of nodded as if to say he knew who I was. "He sends his thoughts," I said. Their mother looked at me with tears pouring down her face and reached out to take my hand and thanked me. I said, "I am so sorry," my voice breaking and hugged her and kissed her cheek. "I lost a fiance," I said and she began to say she was sorry. "But thats not the same as a son," I said now crying. She said it was, it was.
On the pregnancy note, I don't think I've mentioned this before, if I have a girl her name is going to be Anaya-Rei (uh-nigh-ya ray) Leigh (lee) Alicea (al-ih-say-uh NOT uh-lee-cee-ya). Anaya meaning God heard, since I am not suppsoed to have this child, Rei for my friend Rei who died this year and for Sharons daugther Rachael, Leigh because it is my middle name and my mothers middle name and Alicea is Tano's last name. If I have a boy he is going to be named after his father, Candido Alicea or Tano Alicea. My husband is full blood Puerto Rican and doesn't have a middle name but my sons middle name will be Rei or Ray, once again for my girl who died and for Sharons daugther. I also want Sharon to be godmother.
This was a happy post. Lord and this isn't even anywhere NEAR all the deaths. Good night fucking moon.... I just had to get these thoughts out of my head. I had to organize them into something somewhat legible. I can't filter out these images and thoughts until I make sense of them and this was the only way I had to do that tonight. The accident tonight sent ALL these images flooding back through me.
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